MUCHOS EXCITIMOS!

Currently feeling feelings of much excitement...
One of these reasons being, that I have been accepted for Camp America 2012 to work on A performing arts camp, I've got to sort some documents out and stuff but should be flying out to America the Middle/End of May for 10 weeks!!
Admitedly I am starting to feel scared about several elements...
Leaving home for ten weeks - If I had been to University then this may be a teeny bit easier, however the fact it is in another country is something that is really scary, my beloved mummy has come out on many occasions to pick me up from friends house when the home sickness has become too much for me to cope with whilst staying over at friends house. The fact that I wont have my mum and dad nearby, not to mention my Step-Mum and Stepbrothers, Step-Dad, Best friends, Grandparents, Cousins, Aunties, Uncles, The bench lot, Work colleauges s etc etc is really scary, I've only recently what a home girl I am and how much all those around me mean to me and the security they bring..(also not forgetting The Doris, whose 'Shniggles' I will miss more than anything, She is small enough to fit into my suitcase..I may have to try it <3) ..Also it's not somewhere with great communication, there will be no internet or brilliant phone signal, so reaching home will not be easy...at the moment it seems my best bet will be to take out a cheapy phone with credit on it, so I can text home/ make the occasional homesickness-induced phone calls.....
I've applied to work with the 7-12 year olds, which basically means I will be sharing a bedroom with goodness knows how many 7 year olds for ten weeks...hmmm...however I have a feeling if I am busy playing Mum/Dad/Sister/Brother all rolled into one, then it will distract me from my own feelings of obvious homesickness...At the moment I get butterflies everytime I think about it...I'm so nervous but soooooooooo excited!!


Another reason I am excited is that I have decided to move into student housing in Chichester for my second year of uni, despite some earlier doubts, I love university - it's just the travelling that makes the getting into university for 9 o clock and the socialising pretty hard, I'm meeting up with 2 girls tomorrow who will hopefully if we like eachother (though just from our facebook chats so far I can tell we will) become housemates and start looking for somewhere to live/ a couple more people to live with for the start of second year. The idea of living in Chi is so exciting, it will mean less money travelling, I wont need a car, I will be able to work later shifts meaning more money, it will be easier to get into University...and will also be amazing fun and very exciting!!


So yes exciting times indeeeeeeeeed!!!!


Loves xx

A whole new kind of drunk.

Me and the good chum Fiona went out in Chichester last night...
It was one of those have a couple of drinks, get the last train home at 23.13, come home and watch family guy kind of nights. Well that was the plan, however it didn't quite run like that.
It all started off quite civilised, we sat in the Slug and Lettuce, had a glass of wine, bumped into our old Drama teacher (old as in use to be, not age wise ;-) ) who it was lovely to see, so we sat and had a chat about Drama and uni and bla-de-bla. After that we decided to head to Lloyds for a couple of drinks and to dance. A couple turned into three doubles, a single and shot. Dancing turned into bobbing whilst holding on to the table (which I have cleaned many a time at work in a civilised, sober manner).
Our last train home was at 23.13...I dont remember walking to the station, but I remember being there as the doors locked and the train pulled away, with us still standing on the platform. Then a bit I don't remember...then luckily there were two nice girls, perhaps a few years older than us who were getting the taxi back to Portsmouth and said we could share with them. Sitting in the taxi I actually felt like I was going to vom, luckily I didn't, I just wound down the window and rested my head on the side...kinda like a dog..when we got to my house I literally gave the girls a fiver and all the change from my purse and Fiona did the same.. *blank moment* When we got back to mine (after some small issues regarding dropping my phone and getting the key in the lock) I went (or barged) into mums bedroom to tell her I was home...she was still awake with the light on, which meant I couldn't pretend to be sober and then tiptoe upstairs.. to which she declared "Look at the state of you!!!"
After being sick (first time I've ever vommed from drinking...) I managed to get upstairs, open my window, get into a tshirt and turn my fairy lights on before falling asleep...something I was very grateful to this morning...where I have woken up, not feeling to bad actually, albeit slightly wobbly...

You can always tell how the night's gone by text conversations....and this one is an example of the nights rapid decline..for example this one with Finch...(so its easier..the messages in red are from me...)

22:35 - I hipe ur curry isn't too bad..it'll put you in a korma ;) xx  (I know right...comic genius)
23:19 - It'll tikka me some time to digest all this. How's your evening? xxx
23:23 - Unnnn I broke some glass at my. Work ooopS xx
23:27 -  And we've missed the last tain gome
23:27 - home
00:06 - Are you alright? xxx
00:08 - Just. Been siCk (if you hold the button too long it puts it in capitals..so annoying..) for The first time drubk!!!! Xxx meant drubk xx meant drubk xxX meant DRUNK xx (issue here being that my phone no longer has a backspace button..it fell off, so if i make a mistake I either have to Options -> clear field. and then type the whole message again..or just type what I meant to say...)
00:09 - Aww, rubbish? Are you going to be able to get home okay? xxx
00:09 - I'm oin bed feel sick xx
00:17 - just been sick for the first time drunk xx

But by the time a reply came about two hours later I was well and truly long conked out!

Also woke up to two messages from Adam that I somehow managed to miss last night...
00:00: Tas? Xxx
00:25: TASMIN! What's up, you called me then nothing xxx

Whoops...
Oh well, It's all good fun ;)


Loves xx

TYPICAL.

I had my first driving lesson since my doomed test today...
Considering the last time I saw my instructor was when she dropped me off in tears (me not her..) at Chichester Train Station carpark back in November, I was slightly worried at how I would get on..
As soon as I got back in the car though it felt as though I had driven only yesterday...I felt relaxed and comfortable and everything went right!
Once I got nearer to my house we did a couple of moves...the first one being a parallel park..which went perfectly...the second being the dreaded reverse around the corner, which is what completely freaked me out/ made me cry/ fail my driving test on....which...despite not doing for 6 weeks...went absolutely perfectly/smoothly/correctly/just rightly/worthy-of-passing-my-driving-testly.

I think that's what they call...TYPICAL.

Insanity is following me everywhere I go...Even to work!

Okay, At first the concept of having 4 weeks off University, even up until two/three days ago was amazing...
Now I'm all for being silly and over the top and slightly eccentric (I'm a drama student its in our job description...)But now...I feel like I'm starting to go slightly crazy....
I feel restless...
My mind is in over drive (cue the constant blogging the last couple of days)....
I feel like I just wanna chat nonstop...
Everything I say is just a stream of rubbish, silly voices or singing....
I keep picking up The Doris and dancing around with her...
I dont feel like I can sit still...


I need to get back to University, to Lisa's acting lessons (or Body, Mind and Voice if you wanna get technical...), where everything is let out in a stream of crazy movements, over the topness, shouting and stamping and laughing and jumping and galloping around the room singing about riding ponies....and where being insane is completely normal...and encouraged!

But then insanity seems to be everywhere I go...I think it's affecting everyone...for example at Lloyds the other day having dinner with the girls, there was a lady behind us with such a loud crazy laugh we were in hysterics everytime she laughed...it was epic...or bent over double in the cinema corridor with my cousin yesterday who was so desperate for the toilet she literally couldn't walk....the more she laughed the worse it got...the worse she got the more we laughed til I was almost sobbing...

 Even working at good old Lloyds tonight...there were wet curry covered cloths being slapped around faces, hands being slapped across the back of heads (hahahaha good one Kayleigh...), Glasses of water being thrown at eachother, Soda from the Pepsi/Lemonade/soda water nozzle being sprayed at faces...tops....trousers...shoes....and this was from the staff!!! Honestly it was like working in cross between a Nursery and a Loony bin ;] I just face insanity wherever I go...Jolly good fun though!

Be crazy...and have fun...
Loves xx

Here's a little something to share...

I found this whilst browsing for a piece of text for an assessment at Uni, I thought it had a lot to say about life and meaning and la-de-da, so I will share :)

A Creed To Live By

Don't undermine your worth by comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special.

Don't set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you.

Don't take for granted the things closest to your heart. Cling to them as you would your life, for without them life is meaningless.

Don't let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past or for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.

Don't give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.

Don't be afraid to admit that you are less than perfect. It is this fragile thread that binds us to each other.

Don't be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.

Don't shut love out of your life by saying it's impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love. The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; and the best way to keep love is to give it wings.

Don't dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope; to be without hope is to be without purpose.

Don't run through life so fast that you forget not only where you've been, but also where you're going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way.
By Nancye Sims

Loves xx

Books and the need to write at night...

For some reason the ability of sleep has left me.
The last few nights the hours have just ticked by, 23.00....00:00....01:00....with no sign of sleep.
Its times like this that my brain goes into overdrive...cue the reason the majority of my blogs are written at such a crazy hour!
Writing Blogs has become rather theraputic for me, I use to love English and writing, but then I hit the GCSE/A-Level English stage...when it became about Grammar, Poems, Annotating, Nouns and Verbs and blah-blah-blah, it stopped being a way of self-expression and a chance to let your imagination run wild, the element of it which I most enjoyed and am starting to get back through writing blogs.
I've even started thinking recently (well okay tonight...) that I'd like to write a story, I don't know what about, or who for, but after getting a kindle for christmas I've become a bit of a reading nerd - I really want to get back in to reading/writing again, when I was a kid I would constantly have my nose in a book..Jacqueline Wilson especially (who's books I'm still prone to reading even now...in secret of course!) but then the world of 'Msn' and 'Bebo' and 'Going out with friends' came along and I kind of lost interesting in reading for a while. Now there's only so many depressed/repetitive/boring facebook statuses I can read before the concept of a good book becomes a lot more exciting.
However Facebook has become handy as a way of sharing my Blog with people; the majority of the time I try and type about things that I hope will entertain people...and I do feel happy when people tell me they have read and enjoyed my ramblings (even though a fellow work colleauge at work the other day [YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE] told me that they only read my Blog to find things to give me 'stick' about...) it makes me feel like my efforts haven't gone to waste. However there are certain times when I feel the need to write just for the hell of it...not to entertain or amuse anyone...just to type and get my thoughts out, purely for my own purpose. I dont tend to link those blogs on to my Facebook...they are resigned to the dark-depths of my blog, to be stumbled upon by randomers who are just passing by to read (hopefully) much more entertaining news....even if it does involve getting joy out of my misfortunes ;)

Christmas, Reflections and Resolutions..

First up, Happy New year everyone! I don't really know if anyone reads my blogs, so I may just be inflicting best wishes upon myself...but there you go!

Christmas was lovely, had a really nice Christmas Eve and Day with various family members, however in the early hours of boxing day morning it all went horribly wrong, when I woke up in the night with a gurgling stomach, a feeling of dread and a strong urge to be sick...which I was, three times as a matter of fact. So what gave me this bug..was it bad turkey...no...was it alcohol...no....was it the result of a bug passed on from an adorable 2 year old cousin; the most scrummy, sniggly, smallest person in the world who I'd had attached to my hip the majority of Christmas eve. Yes it was. My gorgeous Tilly-Rose (or TillyBoo...) had passed her bug on to me..She passed it on to my auntie who was ill christmas day, when I text my Auntie boxing day morning to say I would not be seeing them that day as I also had the bug..she replied that my nan and other lovely little cousin had been up in the night with the same symptoms as me (puke..basically..) - when I rang my dad he told me that he too had the dreaded bug. Major bad times - this basically meant that for the Halford family, boxing day was a complete puking-fest wipeout; I spent the day lying on the sofa watching films, sleeping and swearing at the fact I could not go out and eat chocolate and spend money in the sales, however by next morning I was fine, along with the rest of the Halfords and Boxing day was celebrated a couple of days later...Lovely :)

Reflections:
Several reasons why 2011 was lovelyyyy :)

Doris:  My Beautiful Yorkie-Poo puppy, She was barely bigger than the Guinea-Pig when we got her, literally - despite the disagreements over her name, I did have to eventually agree that Doris did suit her..and now she couldn't be anything else! I love everything about her, the way she chases her tail, the way she tears around the house as fast as her little legs can carry her, the way she goes 'Awoooooooo' when we sing to her, The way she sniggles under my neck in bed and the way she gives me little kisses and cuddles when I am ill or upset :')

Bench Theatre:  Missed my train so got a later train, bumped into Egg on the train who convinced me to come and audition for Bench Theatres 'Daisy Pulls it Off' - after some persuasion I agreed and went a long that night feeling sick and ready to run away. However as soon as I read the script and auditioned, I instantly fell in love with one of the characters Trixie - I loved her scattiness and over-enthusiasm and had great fun auditioning for her including the 'spiffingly posh british accent' that was required and I was delighted to get the part of her :) Those few weeks rehearsing for the show were the most fun I have ever had with a show; It was amazing to work with a cast that was hugely female based and in a slightly more adult cast to what I have previously performed with - Nearly every rehearsal included being hysterical with laughter and the fact that those weeks were spent running around acting like over-excited 1920s school girls having midnight feasts, Hot water bottle fights and singing made it amazing fun! The performances went so well and I am so happy to have met all the lovely people I have there and created a whole new social circle!

University: Despite the fact people were cynical about the fact I was staying home to attend University I am still extremely happy with the choice I made. Mainly because the course and the people on it are so amazing! I love the social side of it and the bond that the group have already formed through performing together. I love the fact that we can go and do whatever we want, we can express ourselves however we want through acting...and no idea is too obscure - I'm so happy there and it has made me even more determined to work in acting professionally :)

I feel like I have learnt a lot about myself this year; I've got a lot more confidence, I've learnt that instead of being scared, throwing myself in the deep end can often have good positive results, I have learnt more about where I want to go in life and although it seems scary I seem a lot more prepared and almost more 'mature' to be able to deal with what the future holds. I've learnt that life isn't always easy and every now and then something comes along and throws you off track, but that you have to stay positive and look ahead to a positive conclusion and then work out what it is you need to do to reach that conclusion, I've learnt that you just have to be yourself, the people who accept you for it are the people that matter and the people who obviously most deserve to be in your life,  And finally I've learnt that the issue of following Head or Heart has no real answer, you need both, your brain makes you see things practically and your heart tells you how you truly feel. You just have to use elements of both to make your decision - dammit for not being that easy ;)

Resolutions:
As I said to me Mumma yesterday, "I'm not going to say..as of tomorrow I am going to eat healthily...no crisps, chocolate, fatty foods etc etc...because I know I'm not" Every year I come up with these kinds of resolutions, this year I haven't - merely for the purpose that they do not work, maybe for people with willpower, they would work, but for me personally..give me cake any day!
The only resolutions I have this year are to Do more performing stuff, chase more opportunities, live life to the best and most fun I can and appreciate every moment <3

(...oh and maybe try and tone up a bit, intensely moisturize everyday, pass my driving test, become super-organised and keep my room tidy................)
xx