Wow. It's offical. I'm the worst blogger going...
Thing is, when I started blogging, I was determined that I was only going to write about my views on things, anything I felt like talking about that came into my head or about anything exciting that had happened and that I wouldn't just turn it into a 'virtual diary' type thing, in which I just write about crap, like what I had for dinner, how I've styled my hair and other boring information that quite frankly, even I wouldn't want to write about!
Sooooo with that little speech given, I should be going on to write about something amazing and inspirational with life - changing views and all kinds of drama, however due to a particularly exciting bench after show party (which resulted in a 5 am finish and 8.45 am wakeup)...I'm feeling slightly (and a bit more than usual) brain-mushed, so please forgive me, I'm plannning on getting through today in a zombie like state.
I've been thinking a lot about what I want to do recently. I had a bit of drama a couple of weeks back when I decided I didnt like my uni course, I was all set to walk out and get a work aprenti-wotsit, however I think this was due to over-tiredness and slight stress, However i'm now back on track with it all and loving it again, which is a huge relief as I wasn't entirely sure what I was going to do if I did just leave. Whenever people ask me what I want to do when I'm older, I always say 'Something Drama-y'...which is kinda obvious I guess...however what I really want to be...lets be perfectly honest...is an actress. Either on television or in movies, I just love the whole idea of it and find it extremely exciting. However I understand that this is not an easy option. I know lots of people are very critical when it comes to performing arts and wanting to be in that kind of career...and I also understand it's not at all easy to get into...also the fact that I have never wanted to be seen as one of those showy-offy, slightly delusional "Oh yes i'm gonna be a famous actress and live in a mansion with Johnny Depp and everyone will love me and wahh wahh wahh" types means I watch what I say...if it wasn't for chosing Drama in a final " I've got one more option box to fill...Drama or Art" 14 year old decision, I wouldn't even be doing any of this stuff...which is pretty scary considering my life seems to revolve around it now!
What I tend to say is after Uni i'm going to audition for Drama school and if I don't get in then I will do a PGCE and be a drama teacher, which is pretty much my plan, and sounds slightly less pretentious I guess. But then being a member of Bench Theatre...has made me realise that it doesn't have to be about the fame and being recognised, at the end of it it comes down to the basics, passion for performing and working with amazing, talented people to put on productions...it also shows there is more to it than just learning your lines and going on stage/screen...take for example last Sunday and we had the get-in for Seafarer, the majority of cast and crew were at the theatre at 08.00, setting up for a tech rehearsal, we don't have people who work at the theatre who do it for us...we do everything ourselves, get up ladders changing lights, Painting set, building set, setting lights and sound...I mean hell...I even found myself at the top of a 'just-been-made' set of wooden steps using huge power tools to drill in nails and screws and all kind of scary things...and its times like that that I think that it doesn't have to be about the big stuff, it's more about the sense of achievement you feel when you've spent a 13 hour day preparing for a show which is met with such high appreciation from the audience...and you're doing what you love with people that you love (cos lets be honest they are all pretty lovely ;]) .....
(still if a hollywood contract pops up anytime soon thats not to suggest that I'd turn it down...in fact..I would quite appreciate it......anyone......?)
Loves xx
Sunday 26 February 2012
Sunday 12 February 2012
Updaaaaaaate
Defenitely not been as dedicated to my blogs recently, I was told when I started writing blogs 'Give it 3 months and you will be bored of it...' - I guess it like when you start trying to write a diary, whenever I have tried in the past I have always got a week or two in and then got so bored of it I've given up, which I'm determined not to do with it. Some peoples who blog I follow have been writing it for a good few years, I may do that, I may not...depends what else attracts my attention in the mean time. Everythings been a bit hectic recently and crazily busy, however I now have a week off uni for 'reading', So will be lovely to chill and just get everything sorted that I need to do without majorly rushing.
Had a night out last night, After being 40 minutes late the Bestest arrived, who was followed by Fi an hour or so later, I don't know if it was because of my previous night out drinking fiasco (see a couple of blogs back...) , but I was just finding it really hard to stomach what I was drinking, I wasn't being sick at all, it just seemed every mouthful made me want to heave slightly and it all felt a bit of a struggle. However I still managed to do a fair amount of drinking and dancing...followed by a trip to Dominos for Potato Wedges (never tasted so good)...after failing to convince Mcdonalds Drive-Thru to serve us (issue being we didnt have a car)...We tried speaking into the speaker, we tried the three of us standing in a line under the entrance in case there was a sensor that picked up on heaviness and let them know when a car was coming (?!?!!!) and we tried asking nicely, but it still didn't work. Still Dominoes was waaaaaaay nicer ;]
Me and the Bestest were shocked to hear about Whitney Houston dying when we got home, Bestest read it on twitter but considering according to twitter last week Eddie Murphy had died (Donkey....Nooooo!) we didn't believe it too much, however within the next ten minutes Twitter and Facebook were covered in messages and statuses and a couple of jokes of a very bad taste which I don't like very much at all, so it became obvious it was true. I'm not one of those people who as soon as a celebrity dies, begin claiming to have loved them and them being my favourite and crying and so on so forth though (although I did feel slightly choked up when they played 'I will always love you' on the music channel earlier). But I do like a lot of her songs, she's got an amazing voice and it's all pretty powerful stuff, lyrically as well as vocally (I really like the lyrics to One Moment in time) - So I have enjoyed listening to her music today...Guess it's similar with Michael Jackson and Amy Winehouse, just have to hope that they are remembered for their music and not neccesarily just all the issues and downfalls surrounding their deaths. However I also appreciate that so many people die every day under so many different tragic circumstances who don't get all the press coverage etc, I guess that's just what happens when you're someone who's music and inspired millions of people for years and years.
Anyway other quick bits of newsss:
I believe that's all :)
Loves
xx
Had a night out last night, After being 40 minutes late the Bestest arrived, who was followed by Fi an hour or so later, I don't know if it was because of my previous night out drinking fiasco (see a couple of blogs back...) , but I was just finding it really hard to stomach what I was drinking, I wasn't being sick at all, it just seemed every mouthful made me want to heave slightly and it all felt a bit of a struggle. However I still managed to do a fair amount of drinking and dancing...followed by a trip to Dominos for Potato Wedges (never tasted so good)...after failing to convince Mcdonalds Drive-Thru to serve us (issue being we didnt have a car)...We tried speaking into the speaker, we tried the three of us standing in a line under the entrance in case there was a sensor that picked up on heaviness and let them know when a car was coming (?!?!!!) and we tried asking nicely, but it still didn't work. Still Dominoes was waaaaaaay nicer ;]
Me and the Bestest were shocked to hear about Whitney Houston dying when we got home, Bestest read it on twitter but considering according to twitter last week Eddie Murphy had died (Donkey....Nooooo!) we didn't believe it too much, however within the next ten minutes Twitter and Facebook were covered in messages and statuses and a couple of jokes of a very bad taste which I don't like very much at all, so it became obvious it was true. I'm not one of those people who as soon as a celebrity dies, begin claiming to have loved them and them being my favourite and crying and so on so forth though (although I did feel slightly choked up when they played 'I will always love you' on the music channel earlier). But I do like a lot of her songs, she's got an amazing voice and it's all pretty powerful stuff, lyrically as well as vocally (I really like the lyrics to One Moment in time) - So I have enjoyed listening to her music today...Guess it's similar with Michael Jackson and Amy Winehouse, just have to hope that they are remembered for their music and not neccesarily just all the issues and downfalls surrounding their deaths. However I also appreciate that so many people die every day under so many different tragic circumstances who don't get all the press coverage etc, I guess that's just what happens when you're someone who's music and inspired millions of people for years and years.
Anyway other quick bits of newsss:
- Camp America - Wooo it's all getting official now, paid my £100 dedication fee, gotta fill in some scary sounding paperwork, re-apply for a passport and get placed and then I'm sorted!
- House hunting - Viewed a couple of places, no luck yet, got some more potential viewings so fingers crossed we find somewhere nice and fairly cheap!
- Driving - Still practising, still having ups and downs, considering postponing test as so much going on, but we shall see..
- Girl in the Corner - Had another rehearsal today, but still think it is going to be very fun to do, I met the corner today in which I will be standing in for most of the play waiting to come on, it's a very very dark corner, it's a very small corner behind the curtains, and it's ever so slightly scary..still what else is there apart from standing in a dark, small space that you feel slightly spooked in to get you in the zone of a mental, distressed, evil dead girl ghost??
I believe that's all :)
Loves
xx
Thursday 2 February 2012
Strange dreams and scary (and exciting!!) times...
For some reason I keep having dreams that have left me waking up feeling slightly spooked out and strange feeling. Normally when I dream its absolute random crap that I can't even remember when I wake up, but in the last couple of weeks I've had some not to nice ones..
Like a week or so back, I dreamt I was walking through Havant town and ahead of me I could see a teenage girl walking The Doris (why she was walking my pup whilst I walked behind I do not know), only she was dragging her along by her lead...normally when she's walked she whizzes off ahead (well as far as her extendable lead will take her before she remembers she is attached and can't go any further), but this time she was being dragged along with such aggression, the girl was pulling at her lead and yanking it so hard that poor pups feet (or paws..) were leaving the floor, I was trying to catch up with her because I was terrified that she was going to break my poor babys neck or something, but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't get to her....
Then the other night I dreamt that I was in hospital heavily pregnant, but something was wrong with my baby, everytime the doctor came in and I thought that they were about to tell me what was wrong they would perform another test on me and not tell me what was happening and whether my baby was okay, something that made me feel sick. Woke up feeling slightly freaked out, considering I'm not a mum yet, I'm not pregnant and I have never (and hopefully never will be) been in the position of losing my baby; the fact that I had felt such strong emotions in my dream really made me feel odd. So odd in fact that I had to do a search on what my dream could possibly have meant. Things I read gave the idea that I am perhaps currently going through big changes in my life, that I am perhaps feeling anxious about.Well that answers it then (though why my brain had to do it in such a horrible way I don't know!); Got some major stuff going on as you know I have been accepted for Camp America, although I am excited it is something that is not cheap to do (although I get most of it back) so I am being extra cautious when spending money at the moment.
I am also learning to drive which is scary but exciting, I have been practising in my mums car which has been a huge help!... I'm moving house for second year as well...I've met my new house mates who are so lovely and I am really excited...It's just making me anxious thinking about rent and bills and all scary grown up stuff...but it will also be amazing and super duper fun...so I'm excited - so yes no wonder my brain is all over the place at the moment...
However on a more positive note, we (meaning some of us from Bench Theatre) begin rehearsing for 'Girl in the Corner' soon which we are performing at Totten, I'm playing 'The Girl in the Corner' which I am super excited about, Its set in a mental asylum and I basically get to sneak around in a black cloak and pale face looking as pale and scary as possible, standing in the shadows of the stage and making the audience jump, which should be amazing fun!!
Also...I have just joined the world of twitter, I tried it a while back and didnt really understand it and all the @ing buisness, it seemed a bit pointless...but now I am well and truly hooked, since yesterday I have started following 85 people, Facebooks become so dull recently, Twitter is definitely starting to take its place in my brain...sorry Facebook - you're just too weird now. The only thing I am struggling with is the concept of only being able to talk in 140 characters, sometimes I have to seriously cut down on what I am saying...which is never easy...
:)
Loves xx
Like a week or so back, I dreamt I was walking through Havant town and ahead of me I could see a teenage girl walking The Doris (why she was walking my pup whilst I walked behind I do not know), only she was dragging her along by her lead...normally when she's walked she whizzes off ahead (well as far as her extendable lead will take her before she remembers she is attached and can't go any further), but this time she was being dragged along with such aggression, the girl was pulling at her lead and yanking it so hard that poor pups feet (or paws..) were leaving the floor, I was trying to catch up with her because I was terrified that she was going to break my poor babys neck or something, but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't get to her....
Then the other night I dreamt that I was in hospital heavily pregnant, but something was wrong with my baby, everytime the doctor came in and I thought that they were about to tell me what was wrong they would perform another test on me and not tell me what was happening and whether my baby was okay, something that made me feel sick. Woke up feeling slightly freaked out, considering I'm not a mum yet, I'm not pregnant and I have never (and hopefully never will be) been in the position of losing my baby; the fact that I had felt such strong emotions in my dream really made me feel odd. So odd in fact that I had to do a search on what my dream could possibly have meant. Things I read gave the idea that I am perhaps currently going through big changes in my life, that I am perhaps feeling anxious about.Well that answers it then (though why my brain had to do it in such a horrible way I don't know!); Got some major stuff going on as you know I have been accepted for Camp America, although I am excited it is something that is not cheap to do (although I get most of it back) so I am being extra cautious when spending money at the moment.
I am also learning to drive which is scary but exciting, I have been practising in my mums car which has been a huge help!... I'm moving house for second year as well...I've met my new house mates who are so lovely and I am really excited...It's just making me anxious thinking about rent and bills and all scary grown up stuff...but it will also be amazing and super duper fun...so I'm excited - so yes no wonder my brain is all over the place at the moment...
However on a more positive note, we (meaning some of us from Bench Theatre) begin rehearsing for 'Girl in the Corner' soon which we are performing at Totten, I'm playing 'The Girl in the Corner' which I am super excited about, Its set in a mental asylum and I basically get to sneak around in a black cloak and pale face looking as pale and scary as possible, standing in the shadows of the stage and making the audience jump, which should be amazing fun!!
Also...I have just joined the world of twitter, I tried it a while back and didnt really understand it and all the @ing buisness, it seemed a bit pointless...but now I am well and truly hooked, since yesterday I have started following 85 people, Facebooks become so dull recently, Twitter is definitely starting to take its place in my brain...sorry Facebook - you're just too weird now. The only thing I am struggling with is the concept of only being able to talk in 140 characters, sometimes I have to seriously cut down on what I am saying...which is never easy...
:)
Loves xx
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